Chris Antista
Considered the head father of the TalkRadar podcast. Chris has appeared in more TalkRadar episodes than any other host. Some of his personal life stories: Pissed on his shirts, drawers, and bowls when he was drunk (having happened possibly up to 3 times), and the next day wears them to work. (TalkRadar 1) Smells like pizza. As a young kid he was a "little shit" and was gay till he was 5, reportedly saying that he liked how trapper keepers tied other boy's asses together. At the age of 15 he shoplifted Donkey Kong Country 3 from Wal-Mart (TalkRadar 19). The result ended with Chris being beaten and raped by cops with nightsticks and Maced in the face and hands. When he wasn't shoplifting he was fapping loudly in his special chair only to forget that his mom and grandpa heard the whole thing. While liking to brag about his shitting, burping and fart exploits, he is shy about taking massive dumps in public restrooms when people are around (shit-shy) (TalkRadar 21) and possessed shit-mittens for a short period of time. Chris Antista has fart stories that are second to none. His feats include playing wacky sound effects, farting in front of a pregnant woman, and popping an Auschwitz, which involves multiple farts in exiting an elevator and hotboxing at least 2 people. Unlike other people at work, at least 75% of his co-workers (and also Twitter followers) have seen his hairy balls at least once. In college Chris Antista was a Chinese food delivery boy. During this time he witnessed a dog shit on its own (remarkably huge) balls, and had a knife pulled out on him by an angry customer in a dispute over twenty cents while delivering said food. While he had some tough times, 9/11 happened, and he called it "the greatest get out of school and work excuse ever" in TalkRadar 27. In TalkRadar 38, Chris Antista tells a story about when himself, significantly drunk, was walking through the Castro district in San Francisco after midnight and was molested by a European man that sounded very much like Niko Bellic. Chris Antista, while being a significantly flawed human being, has his moments. Chris has been fist fucked every time he has entered a airport. His split personalities of glass-pants-wearing Duke Lombardi, wrestler extraordinaire Bonsoir, The Norwegian King Of Names, Alf Pacino, David Lee Roth and Randy Newman, are liked by the Tdards. Also, he is the official GamesRadar champion of Dick Jenga. Due to Chris' delusion that he can give zombies concussions, Gamesradar has assigned Chris to the official "live bait" position in the event of a zombie outbreak. 'Notable Features:' *Excels at flatulence and telling tales of said flatulence. *Is presumably the only person alive to have a self-titled perfume that mimics the scent of freshly-baked pizza. *Prefers Eastern European men. *Is, in his own words, "a bit of a racist." *Has an asshole that may or may not resemble Macaulay Culkin given the correct circumstances. *Is the supreme overlord/master of the Almighty Sound Effect Board *Represented the Xbox 360 in the Console War Smack-Down *Is a part time bitch of the Disney company *Has conquered the land of Norway with only a billiard ball attached to his hand with a bungee cord (also his preferred zombie apocalypse weapon). *Has, through some incredible means, changed his sexuality at the age of 5. *Really should be The Most Interesting Man on the World, instead of the Dos Equis guy. *Has a lifelong dream of, 1 day, being able to "fuck a volcano". *Was gay until he was 5 and enjoyed other boys and their "Jams" *Has an fetish for urethras, prostates and clowns. *He was tempelily driven insane by ritalin at which time he chose to swing an axe at his parent after setting his backpack on fire. Notable Work GALACTIC EXCLUSIVE: We've got GTA IV! 6 Reasons why kids should play GTA The Top 7... Fictional Presidents Twitter: @CAntista